Birdseed maybe.

Without the birdseed, what do you want?

A crazy bird, chasing after prizes as big as... birdseed.

And then they'll get stupid drunk and smash cake in each others' faces and do the Macarena, and we'll be there showering them with towels and toasters and drinking their free booze and throwing birdseed at them every single time even though we know, statistically, half of them will be divorced within a decade.